Side note: I was going to post my very first blog but saw I had this archived. I forgot I had WordPress, and reopened it thinking, “Hey, I’m writing again. Let’s do this.” Now I’ve come upon this little artifact of who I was 5 years go. I could not think of a better place to start.
It was just a minute ago when I was facing a life that I was terrified of.
I’m not writing this blog to prove a point to anyone, to help anyone, to talk about myself, but to let everything off of my chest like a therapy session. This blog is for no one other than myself and although I may be putting myself out there if I don’t do this I will not know what my full potential is as a human being. I’m more than an average and I sore above plain. In fact, I am crazy and free as tequila is at a bar full of people. I live for myself and no one, in all 23 years of my life can or will change that.
And that’s my problem.
I can’t commit, I run from good things, I hate love, I don’t believe that two people can be together forever, I don’t like things to be the same for a long time, and I crave…I need life..life of party, fun, love, intoxication of life. I hate dull, boring, mundane…all of those are dull..boring..and mundane. Here I am staring at a computer buzzing on 7&7. My daughter’s picture sits next to me computer screen. She is yearning for life and her head faces East and drinking fresh water pouring off rocks. She too desires what I desire, only I hope she can settle more than I am currently TRYING to do so. God bless her.
This blog isn’t about her and I will rarely bring her up only to keep her identity HER identity. I love my daughter and she is all mine. This blog is about a darker side than anyone would be willing to come out with. I am not afraid to do it. My path has always been fun, crazy, spontaneous, secretive, crazy (again), and so rich..so so rich of life. My family thinks I need see a shrink because of “habits” and “choices” but please, if you know me then you will never stop me. I try new things with my entire soul and a lot of people aren’t willing to go that far and this is my blog. My blog about my path and the choices that I am making to figure out why I cannot stop acting like I am 16 years old with a fake ID.
I love everyone who can support and follow me. Your advice, your words, and thoughts will help me write for you and show what life is as a woman. A very single mama and woman.